Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
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