A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Randomize
