Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
