She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
