I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
