She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
