I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
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