I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
