i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Randomize
