well you can't waste a boner
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
