i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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