You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Randomize
