I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Randomize
