Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
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