sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
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