just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
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