youre lurking in front of me
Sponge bath it is.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
But theres a keg here and me gusta
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Randomize
