just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I just want nice things and good sex
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Randomize
