I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
