Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Randomize
