I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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