just come out here and I will go home with you...
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Holy shit dude........stairs
Randomize
