The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
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