You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
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