Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
