Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
