The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
