did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Randomize
