You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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