So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
