the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
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