so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
