Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
