Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Randomize
