i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
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