After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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