i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
operation harelip BJ is a go
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
