at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
