talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
