You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
