so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
