Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
