he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
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