on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
