nut hugger
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
