i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
