I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
