i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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