Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Randomize
