he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
