She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
