got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
