The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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