now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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